Hmmmm... I hardly know how to write this post. I don't know how to begin or end. All I know is that it's been almost two weeks and I am still reeling over the loss of Pete's cousin and my friend, Natalie. Natalie would have turned 34 today. I can't believe she is gone. She was an amazing person. You know one of those people you meet and think, wow, my life is better because I know her. And truly she scattered sunshine and smiles wherever she went. Her life was a legacy of love. I am in awe of the example she left for me to try to live up to. She had four children and was a fantastic mother, sister, daughter, and friend.

I met Natalie early in my courtship with Pete and was at once welcomed into the family as if I had always belonged there, as if she'd been saving a special spot just for me, as if we had been friends all our lives. I miss her and yet I know where she is. I don't grieve for her, I grieve for me, I grieve for all of us who will miss her. I feel sad that my little girls will never know cousin Natalie, that Madie will never be held by her, that Meg will have one less cousin she shares her beautiful red hair with.

When I grow up I want to be like Natalie. I am sure she never knew what a profound influence she had on all who knew her. I am sure she never knew what a profound influence she had on me. I wish I would have told her.

To know Natalie was to love her. I feel blessed I am one of the lucky people who knew her in this life, and that I will know her in the next. I know that families can be together forever, and that my cheering section on the other side of the veil just got one sweet redhead.